Being an adult means fully bearing the costs, and the consequences, of our own choices.

Unfortunately, many parents today don’t let that happen …

Then wonder why their “grown” kids are such failures at life.

Tragically, I frequently saw this when I went into our local jail …

Mostly among twenty-something “boys”  from middle class families.

Even more tragically, the parents and their churches often continued – out of guilt – to enable their immaturity even when they got out.

It never turned out well.

Do them a favor:

Stop subsidizing their immaturity and let ’em fail!

Don’t enable them, but let them begin to experience the full, unmitigated consequences of their choices …

Even if it means they go homeless and risk destitution until they begin making mature decisions and start to grow up.

Being allowed to become homeless and nearly destitute will be a great shock to them – and they may initially stumble badly – but I’ve always seen it eventually turn out to be the best thing for them.

For the first time, they are forced to begin owning their own future and growing up.

As even Paul instructed the Thessalonian church, if someone doesn’t work, then don’t feed them. 2 Th. 3:10

These are not theoretical musings, but how our own churches over the years learned to help guys from the jail who needed to grow up …

Because in the long run, tough love is often the best love you can give.